Mirror Mirror On The Wall…

I’m the most Badass of them all. Nope, not going to apologize for saying that one; want to know why? Because I know I’m a badass. And honestly, you are, too. You might not feel like it yet, but you are. But before we dive into finding your “inner badass-ery”, let’s talk about that person you see in the mirror.

I want you to think back to the last time you were looking in the mirror, and you were alone. Like maybe this morning as you were getting dressed, or brushing your teeth. When you looked into the mirror, what were you thinking?

I bet I can read your minds:

Man, I could definitely lose some weight.

I wish I had a perkier butt.

WHERE ARE THOSE ABS!?!?!

Shit, I am SO pale.

Yikes, when did that pimple show up?

I wish I had bigger boobs.

I wish I had smaller boobs.

None of my clothes look good on me.

My hair looks like a rats nest.

I’m not as pretty as my friends.

Smile, you just gotta get through the day.

Any of these sound familiar? I’ve said them all…well maybe not the one about smaller boobs…but for the most part, I’ve said them all. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are times when you stand in front of your mirror and you’re like, Daaaaaamnnnn, I look good! But let’s be real here, what is more common? The positive self talk, or the negative?

I’m going to safely guess the negative. Do you want to know why I “safely” guessed that? Because we are ALL our own worst critic. And it’s horrible.

But, I mean, it’s the truth. Right? Isn’t that what you’re thinking when you talk about yourself? Because if it wasn’t true, why would you say it?

Listen to me: it’s only the truth if you make it the truth.

What?

It’s a crazy world we live in, but trust me when I say this, the Universe listens to what you say. And the more negative self-talk that you throw upon yourself, more and more reasons to be negative will show up. It’s a Universal Law: The Law of Attraction. What you focus on, you find. What you focus on, expands. I could go on and on about this, but if you’re really interested in learning more, check out the documentary called The Secret (yes, it’s on Netflix…you’re welcome.)

Now, here’s the real question: How do we break this cycle of being our own worst critic? It’s quite simple. Be our own best friend. Think about it, would you tell your best friend all the same things you tell yourself? I know I’m making a lot of guesses today, but I’m going to go ahead and guess again, the answer is NO, right? Okay, so WHY IN THE WORLD do you say it to yourself?

Start treating YOU like YOU would treat your best friend. You deserve that kind of treatment.

And I have the perfect way for you to start: Positive Affirmations. Positive What? Positive Affirmations. These are statements that you make about yourself that start with the phrase, “I am….” and it is followed by something positive. Here are a few examples:

I am a badass.

I am smart.

I am sexy.

I am courageous.

I am funny.

I am successful.

I am respected.

I am a millionaire.

These are just a few of my affirmations. Did you catch that last one? No, I am not a millionaire, BUT I will become one. See, the thing about positive affirmations are that they don’t have to be true just yet. If we go back to the Law of Attraction, you will find that I said “what you focus on you find”, so if you focus on speaking positive words that you know are or will become true, then, guess what? You will begin to find that they ARE true. Again, this is a Universal Law, take it or leave it.

But, the bottom line to this whole post is: You Are A Badass, no matter what. Tell yourself this. Shout this from the rooftops. Stare at yourself in the mirror with the same intensity that Rocky Balboa had before his fights, and tell yourself, “I AM a badass!“. Nobody else has to hear you, but YOU have to hear you.

Just freakin’ do it, trust me.

Xoxo,

Shelby

P.S. Want some daily badass-ery on your Facebook Newsfeed? Yes? Great! Follow me and I’ll be sure to deliver 😉

 

What’s All This Talk About Courage?

Alright, it’s about time I make a post about courage, I mean, the name of this blog is Coffee Shops and Courage Talks, right? And I’ve mentioned coffee quite a few times throughout the last blog posts, so let’s get in to the other half: the deeper and more soulful half.

I’d like to start this one out with a definition, and this definition will guide our discussion today:

Courage (n): The ability to do something that frightens one.

I don’t really think that definition is a surprise to anyone, remember the lion from the Wizard of Oz? He was a real “scaredy cat” before he received the gift of courage from the Wizard, and then all of a sudden, he was able to take on anything, you could really hear him ROOOOOARRRRRR! What a pleasant way to end the movie, with all the characters getting exactly what they were searching for from the great Wizard himself….

Wait a second, didn’t he find out that he really had courage all along? Wasn’t that the whole twist at the end? Yes. YES! So, his courage wasn’t actually a gift, it was simply realized, and it took him quite the journey to finally understand that he what he was searching for, he actually already had.

This is LIFE. Welcome. 

As humans, we have an incredible power to overcome adversity. This is not my opinion, this is a fact. And part of overcoming this adversity is having the courage to do so. So, in lamest terms, the key to prospering is having courage. Now, I’m not naive enough to say that just by “having courage” you are going to see all of your wildest dreams come true, that is simply not the case.

But here is what IS the case: understanding that by exercising your courage, you will grow stronger in the face of adversity, and this is really where you will begin to see your dreams become reality.

We all have fears, some are rational and some are totally irrational (like my fear of walk-in freezers), and these fears are what stand in the way of our success. And the biggest fear among our population is the fear of failure. Let’s talk about this for a second…

Along with the fear of failure comes a host of SO many other fears: being ridiculed, being judged, being proved wrong, etc. And most people will put aside their hopes and dreams because they are afraid of failing in the process. Guys, COME ON.

Remember what I said about the lion? He had courage within him all along, but in order to realize this, he had to go on a crazy journey to see the Wizard? Okay, I’m not saying you need to find a Wizard, but you do have to go on a journey. And along this journey, YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL, but, that’s the beauty of the journey, that it keeps on going, even after the first failure.

So where is this magical journey? Newsflash, it’s LIFE. 

Your life is going to happen regardless of whether you embrace your inner courage or not. The minutes will keep passing, so will the days, and so will the years. And along this journey, you can choose to make the most of your minutes, days, and years, or you can let it pass you by.

You might be wondering, how do I make the most of my life? And I’m sure you can guess my answer, you embrace your courage. We all have it within us. Let me say that again, we ALL have it within us. And what separates those who we all desire to be (like Beyoncé, for example), and those who let life pass them by is the amount of courage these people exert on a daily basis.

All this is great, right? No, it’s not, because let’s be real here, it’s a hell of a lot easier to talk about finding your courage than it is actually living a courageous life. You may be thinking, where do I start? First off, you start today, and you start by doing ONE THING that scares you. You’ve heard that quote before, right?

So let’s break it down:

Think about your ideal lifestyle and what it will take to get there. Don’t think about the immensity of it all, just think about the vehicle you are going to use to get there; for me, it’s my Network Marketing business, for my friend, Dustin, it’s his weekly podcasts, and for my friend Chris, it’s his baseball career. All of these things are vastly different, but they will all lead us to a life of our dreams. What is it for you? It can be ANYTHING.

Now, I want you to think of the skills that are necessary for becoming the master of your vehicle. The most important skills and the least important skills, everything and anything. Ok, got it?

Today, I want you to do one thing that scares you, and that is in relation to the skills you just thought of. For example, a huge part of Network Marketing is building relationships, and a huge part of building relationships is meeting new people, and a huge part of meeting new people is chatting with strangers, and a huge part of chatting with the strangers is learning to say hi to people. Do you see how I whittled a big, scary skill down into a very simple daily action? You can do the same thing. And today, it is my goal to say hi to at least 3 strangers. Does that sound hard? No. Does it sound a little scary? Yes. Do I have the courage to complete this simple task? Yes.

And you do, too. 

Xoxo,

Shelby

P.S. if you want to chat more about this on a 1-on-1 basis, please reach out to me via Facebook, I would love to brainstorm ways to elevate and realize your inner courage!

 

Find Your Tribe; Enhance Your Vibe

It’s the afternoon; you’re starting to notice your lack of focus and energy as you move throughout the day. What do you do? Go for the Joe. Traditionally, coffee is a morning drink, however, many people resort to coffee as their PG-Rated “Afternoon Delight”, am I right? I’m not feeling particularly tired at the moment, and I still feel energized from my recent win in 500 Rummy against my Mom, but I know you might be feeling the opposite. So I encourage you to get up from your chair, do a little happy dance, and head on over to your nearest coffee shop, faculty room, Keurig, or whatever other magical device you use to dispense your coffee, and gain a little more “pep in your step”. And as you regain your focus, let’s chat for a while:

Tribes; What are they?

When I first heard the term “tribes”, my immediate visual was Native American’s in headdresses, chanting a sacred mantra, most likely around a bonfire in the middle of Nevada. Excuse my lack of Political Correctness, but I think it’s a fair assumption that you probably had the same visual.

All this changed when I cracked open the book, “Tribes: We Need You To Lead Us” by Seth Godin. His definition of tribe is “any group of people, large or small, who are connected to one another, a leader, and an idea.” Ahh, makes more sense now! The book is only 147 pages, and it’s a quick read; so in a matter of 2 days, I finished the entire thing, and now I feel compelled to write about it for all of you.

A core human desire is belonging. We like to feel like we are part of something; whether it’s a sports team, a sorority/fraternity, a club, a team at work, or maybe, you’re just a regular at a coffee shop and everyone knows you by name. Still, there is a sense of belonging. And this is important! It creates unity among members, and friendships are typically born from tribes.

However, I want you to assess the tribe(s) that you are part of. But before you do that, I want you to assess yourself. What is it that makes you excited? What is it that fuels your passion? What makes you laugh? What are your desires in life? Woah, those are some pretty deep questions, Shelby. I don’t know if I can answer that. Well, listen, if you can’t answer all of them, that’s fine, but at least try to answer one or two of them.

Okay, do you have your answers? Now, look at the tribes you are currently part of. Do they align with your answers to the questions above? Maybe your answer is yes, and if so, you are a lucky one, because most people go throughout life missing out on finding the tribe that best suites them. So if your answer is anything but a strong “YES!”, don’t freak, you are not alone.

But here’s the deal; if you’ve read this far, it means you’re still interested in what I have to say, and I’ll give you a fair warning here, you probably aren’t going to like it, but the bottom line is, CHANGE YOUR FREAKIN’ TRIBE! This is YOUR life, and if your current tribe is not fulfilling your desires, your passions, your excitement, then you need to grow a pair and make a change.

Listen, you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. So if your current tribe are the people you work with, and you are constantly complaining about how negative they are, how you aren’t respected, how nobody gets you, or my personal favorite, how you are overworked and underpaid, then maybe it’s time you make a change. This change is scary, trust me, I know. But if you want to raise your vibe*, then you’ve got to change your tribeit’s as simple as that. *By vibe, I mean the quality of your life.*

But it’s not as simple as that, is it? For many of you, coming to this realization is terrifying, right? You’ve been with the same tribe for years, any change to you is simply the quarters and dimes you receive from the barista down the road. I’ve been there. I understand. And I can tell you first hand that making this leap from the tribe that is keeping you miserable, complacent, or just downright, dull, is going to be met with resistance.

Nobody in your current tribe wants to see you charge ahead. Nobody in your current tribe wants to see you do what they wish they would have done years ago. I’m not saying your current tribe will hate you for leaving, but they might. So, I’m giving you a fair warning here, you might not get invited to that Holiday Party anymore. Jeez Shelby, you’re really making this whole “switching tribes” thing sound horrible.

It’s not. It’s liberating. It’s courageous. It’s the key to your success that you’ve been searching for. You can’t raise your vibe by attending self-help seminars and reading all the personal development books you can find if you are not willing to assess your current surroundings and notice your current tribeAnd if that tribe is not making you happy, is not helping you to fulfill your passions and desires, and especially, if it’s keep you stagnant, then maaaaaaaaybe, you ought to reconsider where you are spending your time. Keyword here, YOUR time.

Have I convinced you to leave your tribe yet? Maybe you’re on the fence, but you don’t know where to find your new tribe, okay, okay, I can help you with that. First and foremost, join the app called MeetUp, I have no doubt that you will be able to find a great tribe here, but maybe you’re yearning for something bigger and better, that’s how I was. My biggest suggestion is to start looking into Network Marketing Companies, that’s what I did, and that’s what worked for me, it may or may not work for you, but give it a try anyway, at this point you really have nothing to lose.

I am a huge advocate for this industry for many reasons, but the first and foremost, is that GOOD, RESPECTABLE companies attract GOOD, RESPECTABLE people. Network Marketers are some of the most passionate and driven people I have ever met, and I am proud to be one, and I am proud to be part of the tribe I am in.

If you’ve gotten all the way down here, congratulations, I know I was a little harsh above, but it’s reality, and I want your reality to be freakin’ amazeballs. So….I have to end on this last little note here:

If you did a self-assessment, and you noticed that your tribe is no longer serving you, it is now up to YOU to make that change. YOU control the outcome of your life. YOU control the energy within your life. YOU control who’s influence you allow. If you stay miserable, that is YOUR fault, not your job’s, not your spouse’s, not your friend’s, YOURS. If you choose to find a new tribe, and raise your life to a whole new vibe, then I solute you, welcome to the best years of your life!

Xoxo,

Shelby