When You’re Not You.

5 Minute Read.

These last 2 weeks have been a blur. And I couldn’t exactly figure out why until this morning. You know those moments of clarity, when your mind all of a sudden goes “OHHHHH, I GOT IT!” And you finally feel at peace? Well about 2 hours ago, my mind slipped into that place and I am so damn happy it did.

I think you need a little bit of background here, yeah? I’m going to ask you permission to get candid, not that I really need your permission, because, hey! This is my blog, isn’t it? But anyways, here I am, asking you for permission to dig deep. And my hope is that I can inspire you to do the same, especially when you find yourself in the position I’ve been in the last 2 weeks.

It all started on March 10th…..

I went into Philly for an event with my company, I had high hopes going into that event, and although it didn’t pan out quite the way I wanted it, too, it was still a successful night in my book. However, when I say night, I usually mean “ends at 11:30” kind of night. You see, I’m pretty systematic, I enjoy structure, and I enjoy a full day. So my bed time is 11:30 and my morning starts at 6:30. It’s just the way it is. However, this particular night dragged on until about 2 AM in the morning, and while it was a total blast, it threw me for a loop.

That loop continued into Friday, where I decided to sleep in to about 11 AM, which, if you know me, is very, very rare. I went about my daily routine, and I had a whole afternoon/evening scheduled to work on my business; if you can’t tell already, I’m not really the “get wasted and stay up all night” type of girl. I was at one point, but now I’m on to bigger and better things. And in my book, those better things revolve around my health coaching business. Yet, I decided, you know what? I’m only young once, so screw it! Let’s go back to Philly.

So I did. With one of my best friends in tow, we went back to Philly and had yet another late, late night. This night was filled with more alcohol than the night before, more food, more money spent, and ofcourse, some new friends. In many people’s books, this would be considered a “successful night”. But remember, I put off my work to do this. So I was backtracking–but I didn’t care, I was having fun.

Saturday Morning, I had already planned to do a St. Patty’s Day Bar Crawl with my best friend since 2008, and her boyfriend. I know I mentioned above that I’m not the “drinking and partying” type, but every once in a while, I actually do schedule in some good ol’ 22-year-old fun. And this was in my schedule. All day and all night we drank and we partied, we spent money, and we ate lots of delicious foods, and again, made some new friends, and saw some old.

And by Sunday Morning, I was DONE. Like SO done. All I wanted was my own bed, my blankey (yes, I still have one), some Advil, and that thing called sleep, which I had clearly forgotten about the last 4 days. And sleep I did. All day, with the exception of a few short hours that I was awake and working on catching up on all of the things I pushed to the side, but I felt so scatter brained and overwhelmed by the amount of work I needed to do, that again, I pushed the majority of it to the side. Little did I know what a whirlwind that would send me in over the next 2 weeks.

From the outside looking in, I am incredibly put together. I often get told to “slow down” and “enjoy your 20s”. Listen, when I’m working on my passions, and when I am excelling in my business, that’s when I feel most fulfilled, because it means I am helping more people and I am creating a better future for myself and my family. But nonetheless, everyone has their own way of living, and I respect that. So like I said, from the outside looking in, I’ve got it “goin on”. But little did I know, the next two weeks would be some of the toughest I’ve dealt with in a while….

Before I dive in to this, because I am putting this out there on the Internet, I feel as though I must say this: By no means do I believe my problems are bigger than anyone else’s. I understand that I have lived a beautiful life and continue to live a beautiful life. But my problems are MY problems, so I still deal with them and they’re still tough.

Anyways, in the next 2 weeks, I was playing catch up. I fell into this “funk”, all I wanted to do was sleep in, watch Netflix, and complain about how ready I am to graduate and be done with school. So you know what I did? Just that. My business suffered, and my grades suffered. Again, I was able to put on a good face, because I didn’t want to bring anyone else down with me, but my mind was racing, over and over agiain;  snap out of it.

And there were moments of clarity, where I was actually able to get out of bed at 6:30 AM, get to the gym, and continue on throughout my day in a productive and excited state, like I normally am. But there were more days where I struggled to get up and get moving, then there were like the one I just described.

I was not myself. Ever feel that way?

I was misaligned with my core values.

I was veering off course.

I was letting one day blur into the next.

Well, this morning, I realized it; I was neglecting to feed my soul, and instead I was doing what everyone else was telling me was “normal”.

Oh, you’re 22, you should be getting drunk every weekend! Live a little!

All of your classes start after 11 AM? Oh my gosh! You should be sleeping in!

You’re still in college, you still have time to binge watch Netflix, just wait until you have responsibilities!

I was hearing these things, and I was letting them sink in.

I was silencing that inner voice inside of me that was saying “you’re different. You’ve got something really big and beautiful to bring to this world.”

I was being selfish; I wasn’t moving forward.

But at the same time, I understand what everyone was saying, “slow down”. College is the years of the least amount of responsibility and the most amount of freedom.

The most amount of freedom.

I beg to differ. The reason why I am working so damn hard is so I can create a life with unlimited freedom. But unfortunately, for most people, they just don’t think it’s possible for them. So, they NEED to live it up in college, because once the real world hits, there will just be no time for that.

My soul was telling me differently. Do you know how I know? Because when I was doing “the normal” I was falling into a funk, an almost depression-like state, where I wasn’t present in the moment, and instead living overwhelmed days, wondering “when am I going to snap out of it?”

This morning, my inner voice spoke to me. It told me, “you haven’t been you recently. But that’s okay. That’s the beauty of life. Now that you’ve realized it, it’s your duty to grow stronger.”

So here I am, being candid with all of you, letting you know that despite how “put together” someone may look on the outside, we ALL have struggles, we all deal with issues. And we all feel off course for days, weeks, and sometimes even months and years. But that doesn’t have to become a permanent reality. Because we are human, and we are WAY stronger than that.

I believe that society puts this stereotype on college, “the best 4 years of your life”, so every student feels as though they need make the absolute most of it, and for many, that means compromising their values, drinking themselves into oblivion, trying every drug in the book, and allowing one day to blur into the next.

I’m not knocking that life. You should have seen me during my freshman and sophomore year. But, don’t let that “life” take you away from your true calling; what your soul is trying to say to you. If you know you are meant for more, go out and become MORE. YOU deserve it, and so does your future, because let’s be real here, who honestly wants their college years to be the “best years of their life”, doesn’t that mean you peak in your early 20s? What does that say about the next 60-80 years of your life? That you will never be as happy as you were when you were 22? How sad is that…..

I hope this gave you something to think about; if you enjoyed reading, and would like to gain a little more insight into my life, follow me on Facebook!

Until next time….

Shelby

 

Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone and Into Your Greatness

For the last two days, I have been suffering from Writer’s Block. And as much as I hate saying anything negative, I just have to put this out there: Writer’s Block is, hands down, the MOST annoying thing EVER! I have so many great things I want to share with you all, and as I sit down to get it onto paper, I crash.

But I’m back, baby! I’m back. I just chugged a delicious E-Shot, and now, I can safely say: I’m ready to deliver you the goods.

Let’s talk about this thing called your “comfort zone“. When I hear this phrase, I immediately imagine a glass box, sort of like one of those mimes mimicking being stuck in a cage or a box, know what I mean? We can’t visibly see our comfort zone, but we know it’s there. We know what we are okay with doing, and what we are absolutely terrified of doing. Everyone has different size comfort zones, and it’s not unusual to change the size as you go throughout life. For example, when we were younger, we were TOTALLY comfortable stripping down naked and running around for all the world to see…right? And NOW, as adults, we would, one, be arrested for doing that, and two, feel totally, and completely uncomfortable showing off our naked bodies for all the world to see (most of us, anyways). Another example would be, when we were in our awkward, middle school stages, we might have felt insecure talking to adults, and would shy away from any kind of interaction with someone older than us. However, as we grow older ourselves, we begin to understand that age is just a number, and those interactions are no longer uncomfortable. So as you can see, our comfort zones can both shrink and expand with age.

Comfort Zones do serve a purpose. The definition of Comfort Zone is:

Comfort Zone (noun): A place or situation where one feels safe or at ease and without stress.

And the purpose they serve is to allow us to go through life with as little stress as possible. And as we know, stress is a leading cause for heart problems, divorces, and weight gain. So, I guess you could say that there is great case in favor of staying in your comfort zone.

But I’m here to tell you differently. Yes, comfort zones keep you “stress-free”, but they also keep you ordinary, complacent, and to be quite honest, a little boring. Sorry comfort-zone lovers, but it’s true. I know plenty of people who choose to stay in their comfort zones, and because of that choice, they are also brokeAnd who wants to be broke!? Anyone who has been in a situation where they were/are broke knows that being broke leads to stress far more than staying within your comfort zone. I know this is a fact because I, myself, have struggled with “being broke”. So you know what I did?

I stepped out of my comfort zone and in to my greatness. 

And that’s what I want for YOU. Do you know what it takes?

Courage. And a lot of it.

But here is the good news! You have all the courage you need inside of you. But it takes conditioning to uncover this courage.

I encourage you to start thinking of your mind as a muscle. So, the same way we condition our bodies by going to the gym, we can condition our minds by investing in personal development, and stepping out of our comfort zones. You’ve probably heard this before, but outside your comfort zone is where your dreams will be realized. And as you build your “mind-muscle”, you’ll even find that what was once outside your comfort zone is now totally within it! Isn’t that cool?

Now, let me make this clear: I’m not here to tell you that you need to wake up tomorrow morning, quit your job, and make this HUGE change in your life, all of which is completely out of your comfort zone. That’s silly. And if you’ve never done anything outside your comfort zone, doing something like this would probably scare you shitless and convince you to never jump out of your comfort zone again.

I am not telling you to make a giant leap.

Here is what I am telling you: your mind is a muscle, just like anything else. And a muscle needs work. You can’t just sit back and wish for a great body, you have to go out and work for it. Just like your body, your mind is going to need some prepping, some loving, and some conditioning. I’ve mentioned this before, but doing something everyday that scares you is a GREAT way to start expanding your comfort zone.

I could go on and on and ON about this topic, and if you’d like to continue the conversation, don’t hesitate to friend me on Facebook, we can chat awhile 🙂

I want to end on one thing. Stepping out of your comfort zone is liberating. It is where your dreams will be realized. Your ideal life is waiting for you. When you make the decision to live a bold life, one that is outside of your comfort zone, you will find out ALL that you are capable of doing, being, and achieving. Now, who wouldn’t want that!? But, I will give you a fair warning, it’s not always a journey full of roses and tulips, there will be wall-kicking moments, but each of those moments is signaling for you to once again, step out of your comfort zone.

The first step is the hardest, but if you want it bad enough, you will take it.

Just take that step. That one step. The one that is OUTSIDE of your comfort zone. Your world will be changed, and you will change the world. 

Xoxo,

Shelby

 

 

Find Your Tribe; Enhance Your Vibe

It’s the afternoon; you’re starting to notice your lack of focus and energy as you move throughout the day. What do you do? Go for the Joe. Traditionally, coffee is a morning drink, however, many people resort to coffee as their PG-Rated “Afternoon Delight”, am I right? I’m not feeling particularly tired at the moment, and I still feel energized from my recent win in 500 Rummy against my Mom, but I know you might be feeling the opposite. So I encourage you to get up from your chair, do a little happy dance, and head on over to your nearest coffee shop, faculty room, Keurig, or whatever other magical device you use to dispense your coffee, and gain a little more “pep in your step”. And as you regain your focus, let’s chat for a while:

Tribes; What are they?

When I first heard the term “tribes”, my immediate visual was Native American’s in headdresses, chanting a sacred mantra, most likely around a bonfire in the middle of Nevada. Excuse my lack of Political Correctness, but I think it’s a fair assumption that you probably had the same visual.

All this changed when I cracked open the book, “Tribes: We Need You To Lead Us” by Seth Godin. His definition of tribe is “any group of people, large or small, who are connected to one another, a leader, and an idea.” Ahh, makes more sense now! The book is only 147 pages, and it’s a quick read; so in a matter of 2 days, I finished the entire thing, and now I feel compelled to write about it for all of you.

A core human desire is belonging. We like to feel like we are part of something; whether it’s a sports team, a sorority/fraternity, a club, a team at work, or maybe, you’re just a regular at a coffee shop and everyone knows you by name. Still, there is a sense of belonging. And this is important! It creates unity among members, and friendships are typically born from tribes.

However, I want you to assess the tribe(s) that you are part of. But before you do that, I want you to assess yourself. What is it that makes you excited? What is it that fuels your passion? What makes you laugh? What are your desires in life? Woah, those are some pretty deep questions, Shelby. I don’t know if I can answer that. Well, listen, if you can’t answer all of them, that’s fine, but at least try to answer one or two of them.

Okay, do you have your answers? Now, look at the tribes you are currently part of. Do they align with your answers to the questions above? Maybe your answer is yes, and if so, you are a lucky one, because most people go throughout life missing out on finding the tribe that best suites them. So if your answer is anything but a strong “YES!”, don’t freak, you are not alone.

But here’s the deal; if you’ve read this far, it means you’re still interested in what I have to say, and I’ll give you a fair warning here, you probably aren’t going to like it, but the bottom line is, CHANGE YOUR FREAKIN’ TRIBE! This is YOUR life, and if your current tribe is not fulfilling your desires, your passions, your excitement, then you need to grow a pair and make a change.

Listen, you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. So if your current tribe are the people you work with, and you are constantly complaining about how negative they are, how you aren’t respected, how nobody gets you, or my personal favorite, how you are overworked and underpaid, then maybe it’s time you make a change. This change is scary, trust me, I know. But if you want to raise your vibe*, then you’ve got to change your tribeit’s as simple as that. *By vibe, I mean the quality of your life.*

But it’s not as simple as that, is it? For many of you, coming to this realization is terrifying, right? You’ve been with the same tribe for years, any change to you is simply the quarters and dimes you receive from the barista down the road. I’ve been there. I understand. And I can tell you first hand that making this leap from the tribe that is keeping you miserable, complacent, or just downright, dull, is going to be met with resistance.

Nobody in your current tribe wants to see you charge ahead. Nobody in your current tribe wants to see you do what they wish they would have done years ago. I’m not saying your current tribe will hate you for leaving, but they might. So, I’m giving you a fair warning here, you might not get invited to that Holiday Party anymore. Jeez Shelby, you’re really making this whole “switching tribes” thing sound horrible.

It’s not. It’s liberating. It’s courageous. It’s the key to your success that you’ve been searching for. You can’t raise your vibe by attending self-help seminars and reading all the personal development books you can find if you are not willing to assess your current surroundings and notice your current tribeAnd if that tribe is not making you happy, is not helping you to fulfill your passions and desires, and especially, if it’s keep you stagnant, then maaaaaaaaybe, you ought to reconsider where you are spending your time. Keyword here, YOUR time.

Have I convinced you to leave your tribe yet? Maybe you’re on the fence, but you don’t know where to find your new tribe, okay, okay, I can help you with that. First and foremost, join the app called MeetUp, I have no doubt that you will be able to find a great tribe here, but maybe you’re yearning for something bigger and better, that’s how I was. My biggest suggestion is to start looking into Network Marketing Companies, that’s what I did, and that’s what worked for me, it may or may not work for you, but give it a try anyway, at this point you really have nothing to lose.

I am a huge advocate for this industry for many reasons, but the first and foremost, is that GOOD, RESPECTABLE companies attract GOOD, RESPECTABLE people. Network Marketers are some of the most passionate and driven people I have ever met, and I am proud to be one, and I am proud to be part of the tribe I am in.

If you’ve gotten all the way down here, congratulations, I know I was a little harsh above, but it’s reality, and I want your reality to be freakin’ amazeballs. So….I have to end on this last little note here:

If you did a self-assessment, and you noticed that your tribe is no longer serving you, it is now up to YOU to make that change. YOU control the outcome of your life. YOU control the energy within your life. YOU control who’s influence you allow. If you stay miserable, that is YOUR fault, not your job’s, not your spouse’s, not your friend’s, YOURS. If you choose to find a new tribe, and raise your life to a whole new vibe, then I solute you, welcome to the best years of your life!

Xoxo,

Shelby