Mirror Mirror On The Wall…

I’m the most Badass of them all. Nope, not going to apologize for saying that one; want to know why? Because I know I’m a badass. And honestly, you are, too. You might not feel like it yet, but you are. But before we dive into finding your “inner badass-ery”, let’s talk about that person you see in the mirror.

I want you to think back to the last time you were looking in the mirror, and you were alone. Like maybe this morning as you were getting dressed, or brushing your teeth. When you looked into the mirror, what were you thinking?

I bet I can read your minds:

Man, I could definitely lose some weight.

I wish I had a perkier butt.

WHERE ARE THOSE ABS!?!?!

Shit, I am SO pale.

Yikes, when did that pimple show up?

I wish I had bigger boobs.

I wish I had smaller boobs.

None of my clothes look good on me.

My hair looks like a rats nest.

I’m not as pretty as my friends.

Smile, you just gotta get through the day.

Any of these sound familiar? I’ve said them all…well maybe not the one about smaller boobs…but for the most part, I’ve said them all. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are times when you stand in front of your mirror and you’re like, Daaaaaamnnnn, I look good! But let’s be real here, what is more common? The positive self talk, or the negative?

I’m going to safely guess the negative. Do you want to know why I “safely” guessed that? Because we are ALL our own worst critic. And it’s horrible.

But, I mean, it’s the truth. Right? Isn’t that what you’re thinking when you talk about yourself? Because if it wasn’t true, why would you say it?

Listen to me: it’s only the truth if you make it the truth.

What?

It’s a crazy world we live in, but trust me when I say this, the Universe listens to what you say. And the more negative self-talk that you throw upon yourself, more and more reasons to be negative will show up. It’s a Universal Law: The Law of Attraction. What you focus on, you find. What you focus on, expands. I could go on and on about this, but if you’re really interested in learning more, check out the documentary called The Secret (yes, it’s on Netflix…you’re welcome.)

Now, here’s the real question: How do we break this cycle of being our own worst critic? It’s quite simple. Be our own best friend. Think about it, would you tell your best friend all the same things you tell yourself? I know I’m making a lot of guesses today, but I’m going to go ahead and guess again, the answer is NO, right? Okay, so WHY IN THE WORLD do you say it to yourself?

Start treating YOU like YOU would treat your best friend. You deserve that kind of treatment.

And I have the perfect way for you to start: Positive Affirmations. Positive What? Positive Affirmations. These are statements that you make about yourself that start with the phrase, “I am….” and it is followed by something positive. Here are a few examples:

I am a badass.

I am smart.

I am sexy.

I am courageous.

I am funny.

I am successful.

I am respected.

I am a millionaire.

These are just a few of my affirmations. Did you catch that last one? No, I am not a millionaire, BUT I will become one. See, the thing about positive affirmations are that they don’t have to be true just yet. If we go back to the Law of Attraction, you will find that I said “what you focus on you find”, so if you focus on speaking positive words that you know are or will become true, then, guess what? You will begin to find that they ARE true. Again, this is a Universal Law, take it or leave it.

But, the bottom line to this whole post is: You Are A Badass, no matter what. Tell yourself this. Shout this from the rooftops. Stare at yourself in the mirror with the same intensity that Rocky Balboa had before his fights, and tell yourself, “I AM a badass!“. Nobody else has to hear you, but YOU have to hear you.

Just freakin’ do it, trust me.

Xoxo,

Shelby

P.S. Want some daily badass-ery on your Facebook Newsfeed? Yes? Great! Follow me and I’ll be sure to deliver 😉

 

Who Pissed In Your Cheerios?

Admit it, you clicked this because of the title, right? You saw this, and immediately thought, “Ok, where the hell is she going with this one?” Well, let me tell YOU! This is my favorite retort to anyone who gives me an attitude in the morning. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a “morning person” and that’s mostly because I believe labels are stupid and they allow us to fall into this “role” we think we need to play, but that’s a whole other post. I really enjoy the mornings, I think they are awesome, especially when I’m not rushing around and can actually enjoy my cup of coffee instead of burning the sh*t out of my mouth trying to chug it before I leave.

So, let’s talk about attitude. Attitude is a choice. You can choose to have a positive attitude, or a negative attitude, and I’m here to tell you that what you choose will determine how you go through the rest of your day. It’s the truth. Imagine mornings as if they are a fork in the road, and you can either choose the positive path or the negative path, but once you choose that path, you’re on it for the rest of the day. It may sound a little morbid, especially for those “grumpypants” out there. Yes, I just used the word “grumpypants”. But, it is what it is.

Now you may be thinking: My morning started off horribly, I woke up late, tripped over my shoes on my way to the bathroom, fell asleep in the shower (which made me even MORE late), I burnt my eggs, it’s raining and I can’t find my rain jacket, UGH and now they’re playing “Thinking Outloud” by Ed Sheeran for the 40th time on the radio. This day SUCKS. Sound familiar? Ok, ok, ok, I get it. You can’t wake up every morning with sunshine and daisy’s growing out of your floorboards. You may be thinking this whole “fork in the road” analogy is great in theory, but nearly impossible in practice. Listen to me, it’s NOT.

You have a choice. You can either react or respond. Remember that, react or respond.

Ironically, as I’m writing this, I’m jamming out to J. Biebs, “What Do You Mean”…so allow me to explain what exactly I mean….

Reacting is what MOST people do, and I’ll be the first to encourage you to NOT be most people. When something happens to them, they react. If most people had a morning like that one I described above, you can bet there would be a lot of screaming, “ugh”ing, cursing, and they may even cut some people off on their way to work, just to feel better about themselves. Reacting is allowing your emotions to get ahead of you. Reacting will lead you down the path you DON’T want. Reacting takes a completely calm person and turns them into a screaming monster (trust me, I’ve been this person before).

Responding is the KEY to this whole positive/negative attitude thing I’m talking about. The first step in responding is acknowledgement. Yes, I’m telling you to acknowledge the negative. In the example I gave above, acknowledge that your morning hasn’t been ideal. Keyword here is “hasn’t”, this is past tense. When you acknowledge the negative, speak in past tense, do not use present tense. So, what I mean by this is: don’t say, “My morning isn’t going as planned”, this is not the kind of acknowledgement I’m encouraging. By speaking in past tense, it will open your subconscious to the possibility of CHANGE. By speaking in past tense, you are releasing the events of the morning. You have now opened your mind to a better day.

Other than acknowledgement of the negative, there is one last step in the responding process. Affirm the attitude you desire for the day. This is said in present tense. “I am radiating peace and love today.” “I am exuding my total badass-ery today.” “I am a f**king champion.” Everyone has different forms of positive attitudes they desire.

Now, if you are having trouble grasping this concept of responding, don’t worry, you are NOT alone. But I encourage you to try the simple 2 steps I described above. For first timers, you will feel a little silly saying your affirmations, but I promise you, your subconscious mind will hear you and work for you. Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s not, so even though you may not feel like a total badass or a f**king champion, your subconscious mind will still work with your conscious mind to make that affirmation become reality. Please trust me on this.

Remember, your attitude is your choice. How your day goes is your choice. Whether you react or respond is your choice.

Xoxo,

Shelby

Find Your Tribe; Enhance Your Vibe

It’s the afternoon; you’re starting to notice your lack of focus and energy as you move throughout the day. What do you do? Go for the Joe. Traditionally, coffee is a morning drink, however, many people resort to coffee as their PG-Rated “Afternoon Delight”, am I right? I’m not feeling particularly tired at the moment, and I still feel energized from my recent win in 500 Rummy against my Mom, but I know you might be feeling the opposite. So I encourage you to get up from your chair, do a little happy dance, and head on over to your nearest coffee shop, faculty room, Keurig, or whatever other magical device you use to dispense your coffee, and gain a little more “pep in your step”. And as you regain your focus, let’s chat for a while:

Tribes; What are they?

When I first heard the term “tribes”, my immediate visual was Native American’s in headdresses, chanting a sacred mantra, most likely around a bonfire in the middle of Nevada. Excuse my lack of Political Correctness, but I think it’s a fair assumption that you probably had the same visual.

All this changed when I cracked open the book, “Tribes: We Need You To Lead Us” by Seth Godin. His definition of tribe is “any group of people, large or small, who are connected to one another, a leader, and an idea.” Ahh, makes more sense now! The book is only 147 pages, and it’s a quick read; so in a matter of 2 days, I finished the entire thing, and now I feel compelled to write about it for all of you.

A core human desire is belonging. We like to feel like we are part of something; whether it’s a sports team, a sorority/fraternity, a club, a team at work, or maybe, you’re just a regular at a coffee shop and everyone knows you by name. Still, there is a sense of belonging. And this is important! It creates unity among members, and friendships are typically born from tribes.

However, I want you to assess the tribe(s) that you are part of. But before you do that, I want you to assess yourself. What is it that makes you excited? What is it that fuels your passion? What makes you laugh? What are your desires in life? Woah, those are some pretty deep questions, Shelby. I don’t know if I can answer that. Well, listen, if you can’t answer all of them, that’s fine, but at least try to answer one or two of them.

Okay, do you have your answers? Now, look at the tribes you are currently part of. Do they align with your answers to the questions above? Maybe your answer is yes, and if so, you are a lucky one, because most people go throughout life missing out on finding the tribe that best suites them. So if your answer is anything but a strong “YES!”, don’t freak, you are not alone.

But here’s the deal; if you’ve read this far, it means you’re still interested in what I have to say, and I’ll give you a fair warning here, you probably aren’t going to like it, but the bottom line is, CHANGE YOUR FREAKIN’ TRIBE! This is YOUR life, and if your current tribe is not fulfilling your desires, your passions, your excitement, then you need to grow a pair and make a change.

Listen, you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. So if your current tribe are the people you work with, and you are constantly complaining about how negative they are, how you aren’t respected, how nobody gets you, or my personal favorite, how you are overworked and underpaid, then maybe it’s time you make a change. This change is scary, trust me, I know. But if you want to raise your vibe*, then you’ve got to change your tribeit’s as simple as that. *By vibe, I mean the quality of your life.*

But it’s not as simple as that, is it? For many of you, coming to this realization is terrifying, right? You’ve been with the same tribe for years, any change to you is simply the quarters and dimes you receive from the barista down the road. I’ve been there. I understand. And I can tell you first hand that making this leap from the tribe that is keeping you miserable, complacent, or just downright, dull, is going to be met with resistance.

Nobody in your current tribe wants to see you charge ahead. Nobody in your current tribe wants to see you do what they wish they would have done years ago. I’m not saying your current tribe will hate you for leaving, but they might. So, I’m giving you a fair warning here, you might not get invited to that Holiday Party anymore. Jeez Shelby, you’re really making this whole “switching tribes” thing sound horrible.

It’s not. It’s liberating. It’s courageous. It’s the key to your success that you’ve been searching for. You can’t raise your vibe by attending self-help seminars and reading all the personal development books you can find if you are not willing to assess your current surroundings and notice your current tribeAnd if that tribe is not making you happy, is not helping you to fulfill your passions and desires, and especially, if it’s keep you stagnant, then maaaaaaaaybe, you ought to reconsider where you are spending your time. Keyword here, YOUR time.

Have I convinced you to leave your tribe yet? Maybe you’re on the fence, but you don’t know where to find your new tribe, okay, okay, I can help you with that. First and foremost, join the app called MeetUp, I have no doubt that you will be able to find a great tribe here, but maybe you’re yearning for something bigger and better, that’s how I was. My biggest suggestion is to start looking into Network Marketing Companies, that’s what I did, and that’s what worked for me, it may or may not work for you, but give it a try anyway, at this point you really have nothing to lose.

I am a huge advocate for this industry for many reasons, but the first and foremost, is that GOOD, RESPECTABLE companies attract GOOD, RESPECTABLE people. Network Marketers are some of the most passionate and driven people I have ever met, and I am proud to be one, and I am proud to be part of the tribe I am in.

If you’ve gotten all the way down here, congratulations, I know I was a little harsh above, but it’s reality, and I want your reality to be freakin’ amazeballs. So….I have to end on this last little note here:

If you did a self-assessment, and you noticed that your tribe is no longer serving you, it is now up to YOU to make that change. YOU control the outcome of your life. YOU control the energy within your life. YOU control who’s influence you allow. If you stay miserable, that is YOUR fault, not your job’s, not your spouse’s, not your friend’s, YOURS. If you choose to find a new tribe, and raise your life to a whole new vibe, then I solute you, welcome to the best years of your life!

Xoxo,

Shelby